This comes from a Catholic elementary school. The children were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments and the following statements about the Bible were written by the children. The statements have not been edited nor corrected.  Incorrect spelling has been left in.
 

• In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world so he took the Sabbath off.

• Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.

• Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day but a ball of fire by night.

• Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

• Moses let the hebrews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.

• The Egiptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards Moses went up the Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.

• The first commanment was when Eve told adam to eat the apple.

• Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua let the hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

• The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

• David was a hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

• Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

• When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

• When the three wize guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.

• Jesus enunicated the Golden Rule which says to do one to others before do one to you. He also explained that "a man doth not live by sweat alone".

• The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibles.

• The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

• One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taxi man.

• St. Pauol cavorted to Christeanity. He preached the holy acrimony which is another name for marriage.

• Christins have only one spouse. This is called monotony.